39 + 1/7 Weeks

39 +1/7 weeks...That's how long I have been pregnant with this baby girl who we plan on naming Georgia (middle name announcement soon).

There are many unknowns amidst the almost-certain knowns ahead of us: For example, unless I die suddenly or have an extremely precipitous delivery (or some other unknown occurs), sooner or later Dustin and I will head to the Childbirth Center at St. Joseph Hospital to meet Georgia face-to-face. But we don't know the exact date (although if there is anyone actually reading this, I will let you in on some news: I have a date scheduled for a labor induction sometime in the next week). We certainly do not know the exact time Georgia will take her first breath. I don't know if this labor will feel more painful than the last two. We don't know if it will all go smoothly, or if there will be complications. Being a labor and delivery nurse myself, I suppose I have tried to prepare myself for any and all possibilities that could remotely happen (thus driving myself nuts as I consider all the complications that could occur).

I am excited and nervous for Georgia to arrive. And you know what makes me more nervous than the delivery? I have admitted to myself that I am nervous, anxious about having THREE kids at home. How will this go? The answer: I DON'T KNOW!!!! Of course I hope that everyone transitions smoothly. But the reality is that I think it will be difficult--joy-filled, but difficult. I am learning what an attitude influence I have on the attitudes of my family members. When I am tired and crabby, others pick up the crabbies and whinies. I have the power to lead my children into sinful patterns of not being joyful and grumbling and complaining! Okay, this is an obvious concept. But it is also a rather profound one, I think. So, as I try to meditate on Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything.......," I am going to trust that Jesus is enough for me, he WILL provide enough for me to have joy in glorifying him-- even when I will be exhausted and sleep deprived and feeling like all I do is change diapers, answer redundant "why questions" and have ZERO motivation to clean our home because it will be cluttered again in a matter of minutes. I'm being honest here: Being a mom is one of my greatest joys, but it is also THE most difficult role I have EVER played in my life!

And so now, I need to go to bed and get some sleep. One of my goals this summer is to be more disciplined about my bed-time. I would rather read up on all the latest research, news, emails, etc. Have some ME time--right? But this is not serving my family well. So I will go to bed now and hopefully wake up a little more refreshed than I did this morning.