Time with Gram

I spent the afternoon with my Grammie today. Our neighborhood had a summer picnic and Grammie came with the kids and I to enjoy hot dogs, face painting, a raffle, and some freebie toothbrushes.

The kids call my Grammie "GiGi". We live in the same neighborhood that Grammie lived in while she was raising her three girls. She doesn't live in that area of town any longer, but I like living on a street that my mom used to take walks on with her pals when she was a teen. On our way back to Grammie's house, I asked Grammie to show me the house "on Cedarwood" that I've heard so much about. It's a beautiful house, well maintained and Grammie likes to see how well its been taken care of.

I like to listen to Grammie talk about her past. It seems like I always learn something new about her. I think that when you love someone you never lose interest in learning more about them. Today she told me that the home she lives in now is the only one she's lived in without "Phil". Grandpa Phil. I didn't get to meet him. He died when my mom was seventeen. It is always obvious that Grammie loved Grandpa Phil. "He was a neat guy," Gram said to me in the van today, "He was just a neat guy with a problem. And then he wasn't any fun". Grandpa Phil was an alcoholic and he died of Cirrohsis of the Liver.

I wish that I could have met Phil. I like to see his pictures from WWII looking handsome in his uniform. My mom has his eyes. I wish that I could have met him when he was healthy, I wish that I could have felt proud when he came to my events that my other grandparents came to while I was growing up. I will never know the real Grandpa Phil, just stories about him from Grammie and Mom and other family members. I wish that he could have enjoyed having grandchildren like I see my parents enjoying my kids, and I WISH that Grammie could have enjoyed her grandkids with him...

So, I'm kind of sad about that tonight. Sad that I didn't get to meet Mom's dad, that he was never around to tell me stories about her. Sad that he died a rather self-inflicted death. And I wonder if I'll meet him--a sinner redeemed-- one day in heaven?