Learning from John Piper - LIVE at The SBTS Valentine's Chapel

This morning I was able to join Dustin for Chapel at Southern.  We were excited to hear John Piper in person!  His message was from 2 Timothy 4:9-22, and entitled "The Sadness and Beauty of Paul's Final Words".  When I first read the title of the message, I admit that I was a little skeptical, especially since I feel the "melancholy" traits of my personality have been predominant in my thoughts and attitudes over the past year or two.  I get tired of thinking and hearing about sadness much of the time.  But God knew this message was just what I needed to hear today.  Piper's message reminded me that our hope and strength is Christ who will never leave us as we labor in ministry.  It reminded me that Christ is our perfect friend, who never lets us down, and we can run to him when our imperfect human relationships fail; and it is only through Christ that we can forgive or be forgiven by others when we fail.

The Text from Paul in Scripture

9. Do your best to come to me soon. 10. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. 11. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. 12. Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. 13. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments. 14. Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. 15. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. 16. At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17. But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth. 18. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

19. Greet Prisca and Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus. 20. Erastus remained at Corinth, and I left Trophimus, who was ill, at Miletus. 21. Do your best to come before winter. Eubulus sends greetings to you, as do Pudens and Linus and Claudia and all the brothers.
22. The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.

(2 Timothy 4:19-22 ESV)

The Application from Piper

Point 1: Christian ministry is relationally hard (consider v. 18)

Point 2: Friends in ministry can let you down and never return again (consider Demas in v. 10)

In the Christian's quest to share the good news of Christ, and be relevant in the culture around us, let us not forget that there is a love for the world that is incompatible with Christ.

Point 3: Good friends in ministry can let you down, and still be good friends (consider v. 12, 16)

Even when all deserted him at his defense, Paul was with and longed for his Christian friends now (Listen to the list! Luke, Mark, Timothy, Prisca, Aquila, Erastus, Trophimus, Claudia, Linus, Pudens, Eubulus--Paul must have reconciled with them after being deserted by those who were with him now)

Christian, when a brother fails you, you must forgive...or kill yourself holding onto bitterness and not forgiving.

Point 4: Jesus Christ is the center of your Christian friendships, and deepens the sweetness of your friendships (consider V 9, 21)

Human friendships are fickle, and yet, Paul longs for them.

Christ does not intend our friendship with him to replace Christian friendships or the Church.

Point 5: Jesus Christ is the only flawless friend (verse 17,18)

The Lord stood by Paul when all deserted him.  Only on friend can rescue you, and bring you safely home. And when your human friendships fail, don't turn on your One Friend, Jesus, who will always be there.

Point 6: Closeness to God at the end of your life does not negate the need or desire to read and be nourished (verse 13). 

Paul requests scrolls and parchments, presumably to study, meditate upon as the end of his life is approaching.  I liked how Piper put it "bring the books! They will help me die well!"

Point 7: People with great influence and authority don't need great possessions (consider verse 13)

Paul asks for a cloak and stuff to read.  Point 7 is always a timely reminder for me, as I feel that the sin of my love for money bears down upon me relentlessly.

Piper ended encouraging those pursuing Ministry to walk toward it, and to walk toward it with our eyes wide open, to help us to know what to expect in this life.

Study

The reason why moved to Louisville is so that Dustin can study here:

Here at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, he is studying for is Masters of Divinity.

Last year, I was still working out, or "fleshing out" (to use a term I hear Christian pastors use more and more as they seek to apply practically what a text written by the ancients, inspired by God himself, looks like for the average person) what this season of study meant and just what it was going to look like for our family.

During the first several months after we landed, here's how I saw what this move looked like for me:

-Work every Saturday and Sunday as a nurse, leaving the house at 6:15 a.m., returning around 8 pm, and stuff my fear of getting sued because I didn't document something properly 15 yrs down the road (other OB nurses can relate to this I think).

-Take care of four little kids Monday through Friday 24/7, one of them being a breastfeeding infant, less than 12 months old.

-Try to limit the number of days/nights a week I cried or yelled at someone at home to 3 out of 7...I felt pretty good about that number

-Figure out where my heart went and where it was going...

I won't detail the gory details of last year.  It is painful, and in comparison to the infinite hurts in the world, it would be shameful for me to dwell there.  Except...God is faithful.  He has carried me through my grief and given me strength to:

- fear not

- rest

- delight in the Lord

- love my husband

- love my kids

- have a soft heart

- believe in Jesus Christ

Dustin is beginning his second year at SBTS.  My heart is so different from what is was one year ago.  There were nights where I thought I was going to lose my faith, and begged God to keep me, not knowing how in the heck He would do it...because, the world looks pretty bleak out there with out Him.

Louisville

Dustin and I, and Elias, Jillian, Georgia, and Luke Rudolph live in Louisville, KY.

One year ago, I was reeling with this fact.  Oh wretched and healing grief.  In the midst of the denial stage of my grief, I stood in our kitchen crying out, out loud (Lord, have mercy and let my kids forget these moments) "Are we really HERE?!".

Prior to moving to Louisville, I had not really left "home".  Yes, through marriage, I had gone through the "leave and cleave" separation of leaving my parents, leaving being "just me", to becoming united to my spouse.  But, no, really I had not left home.  And in my move to Louisville, after much research, prayer, planning, searching of places and hearts...with Dustin blazing the way, we packed up our stuff and moved across the country, with some of my heart, all of our kids, and away from a place and people I really really like and love.

Thankfully, we did not need passports to get here.  And I pray that our next move to our next home does not require passports or visas.  Really, I pray that.  I also pray, not my will.  Even if our next move does require those things, it will be okay.  It will be hard.  I might even be disappointed, because, I don't want to move out of the country.  But I have experienced how, when I submit to what is God's will for my life, to the best of my knowledge, through prayer, and circumstance, in faith, and study of God's word, then he will be faithful to complete what he has started.  And in His faithfulness, I can rest.

You see, I am small.  I am so so small.  I am one person in the midst of billions of people who live and have lived on one planet, which circles a star, which sits in the midst of countless other stars, in the midst of countless galaxies of countless stars and planets and...

And God made all these things.  Meditate on that.  Really picture the reality of the vastness of the universe.  Take a whole day to think about this!  Even the enormous thunderstorms we experience in the middle of the United State are tiny compared to that vision.  Really picture how minute we are in that vastness.  And yet God who made the universe, who thought up the universe, makes himself known to me.  Not only that, he LOVES me.

God loves me.  It is ALL OVER the Bible.  I think I my favorite might be 1 John 4:10 (NIV) "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sin."  Exodus 34-6-7, Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:7-21, Ephesians 2:4-10.  He loves me and us, for His glory.  Not for my glory, although, oh, the infinite and profound blessings I receive from his love.  But for HIS glory and purposes.  And I can rest in that because he is much much bigger than me.

Gladness

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; 

you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,  

that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.

Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

Psalm 30:11-12 (ESV)

Last month we got to visit Bellingham, my hometown.  When I moved from this place, I felt like a piece of my heart was severed from who I am.  So, when Dustin and I, and the kids, visited both the physical place of Bellingham, and "my people" who live in Bellingham, it was like balm to a wound--a wound that is more or less healed now, but still scarred and itchy sometimes.

We visited one of the San Juan Islands and my dad made a drum from a drift wood log on the beach...and soon, we were dancing in a Pacific Northwest sunset.

Photo Update of Our Fantastic Four!

In the photo above, Jillian is "teaching" Georgia and the Stuffies. She is teaching them Bible verses in song format. They are pretty quick learners.

Storytime with Grandpa in front of the fireplace.

Luke's first slumber party!

Elias took over read-aloud time on this February day while I was nursing Luke. One of our fam's fave books is "Make Way For Ducklings".

Laid Luke on the couch for a nap, went to the kitchen, came back in to the living room to check on him...and discovered another "mommy" thought this was a great location for her baby to take a nap too.

It must be kinda fun having these three people talking to you at once.

First smile caught on camera on February 12th...one month old, pretty sure it was a "real" smile, too :)

Sunny Snow Day!

Luke is almost two months old now, Georgia is 2.5 years, Jillian almost 5 years, Elias 6 years old. All six of us are living with my gracious parents whose arms of love have expanded greatly to allow us to live in their home for five months now. I'm learning A LOT about unconditional love from my mom and dad. I am SURE that we annoy them at times. I constantly annoy MYSELF with all of my mistakes and clutter...imagine being "empty nesters" and having a family of six enter into almost every corner of your home space. Yet somehow (I attribute it to their love for us, faith in Jesus, sense of humor, oath to each other to remain "kids at heart", their ability to forgive and "let it go", and that they genuinely enjoy being around us--at least I think they genuinely enjoy being around us...), my parents continue to make us feel welcome here until we march onward to Kentucky.

Ten Years

Ten years ago, sometime near today's date, I received a special Christmas card in the mail. The return address originated in North Carolina, on Bent Creek Drive, with someone bearing the last name of "Rudolph" (no, not the reindeer). The handwritten portion of the card inside wasn't simply "I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year" or "I'm so glad we've become friends" type message. Well, it wasn't sappy either...the verbage was witty, unexpected, and what I consider sweet (something like "I didn't get a chance to fare thee well before we left school for Christmas break...et cetera, et cetera). I would write the exact quote, but at the moment "The Card" that made my heart so twitterpated toward my now husband, is packed away in our storage unit across town (as we are preparing to move across the country), within my small box of keepsakes from way back when.

Every Christmas, I remember this card, remember how wonderful it felt and still feels to be pursued by this man. Oh dear, we were so immature, selfish, and crazy when we first were getting to know each other, knowing we wanted to get married, but wondering how and when we should do this when we were so...young, still in college, for heaven's sake! The verse "Flee the evil desires of your youth" applied quite strongly to us.

Dating Dustin was far from perfect...we were selfish, fickle, covetous, impatient. Honestly, not a whole lot of our two years of dating do I enjoy reminiscing about...Which is a tangible reminder that ALL of our marriage is a MERCY from God. What God has provided for us, and mostly, how he has changed our hearts over the past 10 years, has been orchestrated ultimately by the God of the universe.

Have I ever mentioned how I love my husband? One thing I love about him is his naturally strong personality, which he uses to call me out and reign me in. Dustin is my accountability partner: He teaches me about loving my neighbor. Seriously, left to myself, I am prone to be critical of everyone around me, in the privacy of my mind and heart. It usually boils down to my being envious of something a person has or a quality they possess, and I try to disguise this sinful attitude with another...comparing and criticizing others. None of this falls into the "encourage one another, and build each other up" or "Love always hopes" categories that are biblical principles Christians are to strive for as we walk the road of sanctification. Dustin typically recognizes when I'm going down these critical paths, and sets me straight. What a gift!

Okay, I have to jot down one more attribute of Dustin that I really really appreciate: he stewards his time well, according to his abilities. Before and after work, he is usually helping out at home, or studying, or playing with our kids, cooking, cleaning, communicating well. On days off, he goes to meetings, or studies more, or researches, typically before our family time (which I have struggled to get used to). We do like to take time to watch movies together usually at night on our laptop before bed, which, occasionally is a waste of time. We do take vacations within our budget, which are NOT a waste of time or money. And he is learning and teaching me how to Sabbath. Dustin is not idle, and he is not afraid to take on another task that needs to be done, and I appreciate that.

So that is my bi-annual blog entry as it seems lately, heh. With our fourth baby due in a few weeks, I don't imagine I will blog more frequently, but who knows? I just had to jot down my thoughts as this 10 year anniversary of "The Card" rolled around.

Spring

Tomatoes growing on the window sill, shoring up the garden beds with mulch and great soil, reading books on a blanket outside, and eating supper at the picnic table--AND Jillian Spring's birthday just around the corner. Tomorrow we take a trip to Eliza Island, per her request, to celebrate her birthday. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa, Mom and Dad for your vision, work and efforts to make Eliza Island a very special place in my heart, and now my kids' hearts.